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Onwards and Upwards

5 Apr

I realise it’s been a while since I last posted on here, seems life for once has actually taken over.

Well what a few months it has been, finally getting to grips with getting over my S.A, don’t get me wrong it is still very much there and dominates a lot of my thoughts, but I seem to be able to get passed them now and find things a little less scary.

My work life is a millions times better than it was in my last job, where S.A would totally ruin it for me and I wouldn’t progress in my job,  now I can’t get enough, having a job where you are asked for advice/help by other members of staff is quite a nice feeling and for once I don’t actually feel like a kid any more!

Social life has totally done a 360, I’m spending more time with my friends and socialising, even meeting people I have never met before on my own, something which is a BIG trigger for me to turn into a recluse again, but I did it and I couldn’t be more grateful for the confidence it has given me. Onwards and upwards from now on.

Well that’s a brief update on what’s been going on with me, I’m hoping to get to grips with this blog over the next few weeks and start blogging more about other things, don’t want to bore people with my little life.

Till next time,

CBT all done!

6 Dec

Well today has been eventful, I have completed my 3 year stint with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, today was my final follow-up appointment, just to check up if I was okay and that I was coping well.

Normally when I arrive at these sessions with my therapist, I have a long list full of problems and situations where I felt I couldn’t cope and felt like it was getting on top of me again, but for the first time since I started this program, the only list I had was all the things I DID cope with and how I aim to improve on them.

As we sat down and spoke about the activities I had been doing such as social occasions, work and family life, we looked over my progress charts, which is basically data taken from a questionnaire I fill in every time I go to visit the therapist, from this you can get an idea of how I’ve been feeling, for example, have I been worrying a lot? have I avoided anything? do I feel the need to hurt myself? have I been able to sleep or sleep too much? etc.

So from looking at my charts from when I started where all the questions were in the high levels, today they were in the mild sections which is a great improvement, which shows my mood has changed, my outlook on things that originally scared me are now just small issues and I don’t spend hours worrying about the problems, I just do whatever is it I need to do and see if the “worst” happens, and pretty much 10 out of 10 it never does, proving to myself it is all in my mind!
Whilst we carried on our chat, I moved onto starting this very blog and she seemed very interested in how I was using it, and was pleased that I had found a way to just get my thoughts out and nip new worries and concerns in the bud before they escalate like the issues that have me been bothering me for a good 5-6 years.

Now the CBT is over, I feel great, I feel more positive about life and challenging things that would nearly put me into a blind panic. Although it will be strange to not speak to a professional about this any more she assured me that I am not alone, as I can contact a therapist at any time using a self referral number where I could get in touch with my local Mental Health and Well-being service where I could start the process again if need be.

But after today and the positive feedback I have received, I believe I won’t be needing that number for a VERY long time, everything is starting to look rather rosey! 🙂


Your Thoughts

4 Dec

Would be great to see your feedback!

Social Anxiety Facts (via A Motivating Place to come)

4 Dec

A very informative blog on the facts of social anxiety and it’s triggers, experiences and treatment.

Social Anxiety Facts Social Anxiety Disorder (social phobia) is the third largest mental health care problem in the world. Latest government epidemiological data show social anxiety affects over 7% of the population at any given time.  The lifetime prevalence rate (i.e., the chances of developing social anxiety disorder at any time during the lifespan) stands at above 13%. Definition: Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other … Read More

via A Motivating Place to come

The Palaver

4 Dec

This section of my blog is to write down all my anxiety provoking jibberish.

Here’s hoping this will help me overcome my disorder, for years I have kept it all in and have made myself ill as a consequence of this.

For years I’d find myself getting more and more stressed about everyday social activities that before were nothing to me, such as classrooms, meetings, going out for dinner, even just going outside these four walls.

In my head, home means safe, anything out of that to me is a threat. Thankfully after a few years of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) my outlook has changed, and certainly for the better.

It all started at the age of 17, was young and at 6th form where I was studying for my a-levels, everything seemed to be going fine and I was excited about the big wide world out there. Then all of a sudden I became shy, quiet and scared of the littlest things, such as people not liking me, remembering embarrassing things I had done or said as a teen and that would be brought back up to tease me.

I would spend days in bed not leaving the house or speaking to a single soul, I would have weeks where I wouldn’t eat or drink for fear of feeling ill, which obviously had the same affect that I had been fearing.

Managed to somehow finish 6th form and then I was to start university, I thought I would be fine once I settled in, I was in my favourite place in the world, Central London, but even that wasn’t enough to help overcome my fears, I became so scared it would bring me to tears. I eventually dropped out of university and went straight into retail, which was again a huge step for me to overcome but it had to be done to survive.

After many tears and breakdowns I was sent to a threapist where I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety, which at first was a shock, I felt very alone and singled out. All my friends were getting new jobs, degrees and meeting great new people. Seemed to me like they were having the time of their lives, something I was very envious of.

As I’ve now gotten older, I realise if I want this gone, I’m going to have to work at it and prove to myself there is nothing to be scared of.

This is all I shall put for the time being, will update my blog when it’s at a more decent hour and I’m not falling asleep.