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I am back…and for the better!

12 Jan

*Sneaks in* HELLO!!!

Been a while since I last posted, but it’s been an eventful few weeks, challenging but a great few weeks!

I spent Christmas and New Year in the Canary Island of Fuerteventura, my first proper abroad holiday, was a great experience!

Starting off, before I went away I had a massive challenge to complete, the work xmas party, which in my last job was a complete no no, would get myself too anxious and not go, but this time was different, and for the better!

I find this job much more enjoyable and the people I work with are lovely, so automatically I felt more comfortable, well after being very nervous about it, I went and I had the funniest time from secret santa to a Christmas temp singing Lion King and Aladdin songs at the dinner table. I had no panic attacks or that dreaded feeling of wanting to go home, in fact I forgot all about it, which then put me in a great mood to start my travels to the Canaries!.

The day I left, I had no sleep, was feeling sick and very nervous about the plane as I had never been on one, and not to mention being away from home for 3 weeks, completely out of my comfort zone and not being able to leave!

Well, I done it! I got there and settled in perfectly, all my worries seemed to be left in grey London and I enjoyed my holiday to the fullest, from going out every night to the bar or seeing the entertainment, something I would NEVER do.

See, I had a great time! lol ( more photos at  http://www.flickr.com/photos/karla_duckula/sets/72157625807576264/ )

Even on the final day where I thought I would get nerves all over again, just didn’t happen, and I arrived back in blighty and within hours of being home and to sleep I was back at work for a longer shift than usual, again breaking this routine I have.

Now back at home, I trying to break this routine I have, where I don’t go out if I need to be somewhere the next day, that’s what’s been stopping me for so many years, well already that has been broken, have met up with old work mates and planning to meet my girlies at the weekend, need to start being a busy bee!  🙂

This has been the best experience for me as I have come back feeling fresh and a weight has been lifted, I have great feelings about 2011 and I’m going to make sure my S.A doesn’t spoil it!

till next time,

a belated Happy New Year!
Karla x

Schweet Day

4 Dec

Evening all!

What a nice day it’s been, just got back from seeing the new Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part One, WHAT A FILM!! loved every minute of it!

I’d say the best HP movie so far, cannot wait for the next one. I did however jump like a little girl a few times, this one is definitely a lot darker than the rest, and I am an open Wimp, and proud of it! lol

Surprised myself with how calm I’ve been today, no panic attacks or little moments of fear, think starting this blog last night and reading all the nice comments have really given me a boost.

Had lots of tests today, first off, changing destination due to London tube engineering works, something that would previously be extremely anxiety provoking in the past, it was just a breeze today.

Secondly actually going to the cinema, which was once an enjoyable experience when I was younger, but until recently has been a terrifying task. Being stuck in a room with loads of people where you feel you can’t just leave as people will see you, used to be a horrible thought. Also realising the film was over 2 hours is something that would normally just tip me over the edge, today I just thought “Great!” instead of feeling dread and longing to be home.

However today was different, felt very calm and actually excited to do something I hadn’t done for years, I finally feel like I can start doing all those things I used to do with my friends all those years ago when I felt “normal”.

Probably the first time in a long time I didn’t feel the need to rush home, so I could feel “safe”, I was very comfortable in the company I was with and where I was, shame about the Christmas madness, which if you didn’t realise doesn’t make me anxious, just gets on my friggin’ nerves! I am not a fan of shopping as you can probably tell! hehe

Onwards and upwards I say, let the good times roll!

Karla Palaver